I just had the most vivid dream about my Grandpa. We were at some sort of graduation of mine, it wasn't clear what it was from but my entire family was there. It was outside and there were what seemed like miles and miles of food set up like a buffet...lots of Armenian/Middle Eastern items. The dream kept splitting between me in some kitchen actually inside the fridge (which is its own silly thing that I don't know the meaning of) getting leftovers and me outside in this huge lawn where the buffet was, talking to my Grandpa. He was telling me how much he loved the ceremony and how it was the best graduation he had ever been to. He was wearing a suit and tie, and my Grandma was next to him also dressed to the nines. He kept hugging me over and over and at the beginning we were smiling and laughing and then it occured to me in my dream that I should cherise these fleeting seconds because he isn't here anymore. I was overcome with a sense of gratitude that I was having this dream about this person I miss so much...and then I looked around and tried to search into people's eyes, seeing if they knew what I knew, but everyone seemed to be in a state of pure bliss. I started to get that feeling you get when you know a dream is ending but you can't bear it and you try to trick yourself into staying asleep and encourage your brain to make the milliseconds last as long as possible. I then realized he had been humming and then actually singing lyrics of a certain song every time he hugged me but I couldn't really make them out. I tried to concentrate with all my being on this one aspect to try to keep the dream alive and then it hit me, and instantly I started to laugh through tears. My Grandpa, in the voice I remember as being his, was singing "Who Needs Shelter?" by Jason Mraz (for those who don't know, I am a fan, to say the least). Of course as soon as I realized this I woke up, and though I usually forget my dreams quite suddenly after waking, I tried to think of nothing else but writing down what had just happened. It's very interesting because though I do love that song, it isn't one of my absolute favorites, and I honestly can't remember the last time I listened to it. So why that song? I don't know but it was definitely the best dream I've had in a long while. It was so incredibly real, too. Exactly how I remember his hugs feeling, definitely his voice and mannerisms. It was just wonderful to see him. I am very grateful for dreams :)
Grandpa giving my brother a haircut, while I sport a fashionable turtle neck circa 1993.
If you're curious about the song here's a video of Mraz performing it live at Austin City Limits.

Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI loved your dream blog entry. It touched me both because I miss Dad and think/dream about him often and because dreams fascinate me too. You remembered the dream so well! I know what you mean about wanting to make certain dreams last longer somehow. And that it's hard to get them recorded well after you wake; I used to write them down in my journal right after I woke up, which helped to get the details. Having Dad's photo around the house helps me remember his zest for life and his laugh, but your writing is another gift all by itself --- thanks for sharing this special dream (I don't think I've ever shared a dream on my blog...very brave of you).
Love,
Your Dad
P.S. Your grandma tried to leave a comment when she read the entry yesterday, but it didn't work. She emailed me a version of what she wrote...though she says the original was better. I've pasted it below...
Dear Rachel: I just read your blog and you had me in tears. I had a difficult time reading in-between my tears, but I was so touched.
Grandpa is still here in the house. He has helped me many times. Some people would not understand but to me it is very comforting.
He has been in my dreams many times.
Jason Mraz says at the end of "Who Needs Shelter", "You're My Favorite"! So you see he is telling you, you are one of his favorites.
The picture of Grandpa cutting Aaron's hair is so your grandfather. He would say "anything to save a buck". I love that picture.
He is so serious. It makes me very happy to know he entered your life again with happiness.
Love You Sooooooooooo Much Grandma